I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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