Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
