He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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