Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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