it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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