Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
