his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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