wrigley field is MILF paradise
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
