I must be too annoying 4 u.
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
