Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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