I hope mine doesn't look like that
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
