Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
