too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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