This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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