you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
