I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Randomize
