ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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