it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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