I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
