Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
