cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
