Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Randomize
