Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
