Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
