I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
