i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
