I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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