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WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
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