that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
