so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
