True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
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