Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
