:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
