Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
