The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
