just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
