I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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