is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
