About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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