Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
