I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
