Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Randomize
