what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
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