just come out here and I will go home with you...
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
