We're facebook friends in real life
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
