so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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