This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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