Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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