i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
