I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize