R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
